Comments by a former ASDC Member

I was looking forward to the AGM on Saturday the 29^th of Sept in Heaton Mersey, Stockport for a couple of reasons. The main one was to meet old and new friends in the organisation which I have valued over the 7 years I have been associated with it. Secondly I felt after the article I had published in the March/April edition of “New Vision” had posed some radical and controversial ideas and it would be interesting to see how they compared to the reality of the organisation. I also felt that it would give those who read the article an opportunity to reply.

Marie posed the question at the meeting why despite requests going back years, a list of the groups contact details was not available to her and other ASDC members. The chairman Helen Ready’s response was that the details were available in the New Vision publication or by phoning her. When myself and Marie asked why was this vital information was held in such a restricted manner. We were told that it was due to the fact that permission to use the contacts had to be obtained first. The worrying thing for me was that despite a common need by members for this vital information being expressed repeatedly, no action had been taken to make this possible. This for me really summed up one of the reasons that membership of our organisation had been falling. I believe that a committee’s main role is to

1. Listen to the views and requests of its members.

2. To represent the views of its members

3. To carry out the actions of its members in a structured manner.

Sadly there has been no evidence of this in the last two AGMs I have attended. There were some very interesting topics discussed at the meeting, in particular the one on annulment by the young priest who was the invited guest speaker.

There were new ideas put forward but no evidence of any actions to make things happen. I will not embarrass any further the committee member who initially thought that an aggressive verbal response was the way to deal with my opinion during a meeting, only to say that I accepted his apology but trust that in future he and others will conduct themselves in a less bullying manner.

The most disappointing fact for me was that objectives and actions thought of by the committee appeared to be the only ones that were considered important. The practice of de-selection and re-election without any information on the committee being given to the members cannot be considered democratic. I would therefore suggest that the ASDC need to focus on the basics of why they are in existence and to what purpose. I have therefore included part of my article originally printed in March/April of this year following this article. Which I hope will offer some guidance. I have enjoyed being a part of the ASDC experience for over 7 years and my time as Chairman as the Stratford On Avon group and as a contributor to the Llandudno weeks and weekends. I like to think I have given something back for the friendship and help I have received in that time, however having giving it some thought I have decided that I can no longer offer any meaningful contribution and therefore will not be attending any further ASDC meetings. I wish you all every success in your efforts.

Thank you all and God Bless you.

Patrick Askins from Warwick

PS if you do compile a list of ASDC contacts I will be happy to pass on the details to anyone new members that contact me.

Extract from the original article printed in the March/Article 2007 issue 203

The shared experiences of those that have faced and dealt with marriage difficulties has a very positive and significant role to play in helping members in the initial and in most cases the most painful part of their journey.

Therefore I would pose the following questions as part of a strategy to inform and help those Catholics who are recently divorced or separated or who have yet to break the cycle of why it happened, could they have prevented it, what should they do next, how do they get support? Etc.

The Church

1. What are the churches views of the level of support required by outside support groups such as the ASDC?

2. How many of the clergy advertise the services of the ASDC?

3. What is the support that the church offers to separated and divorced Catholics?

4. What is the evidence of success that the church’s support is helping its members and keeping them as church going members? (Case studies etc)

The ASDC

1. Are the communication systems we currently have informing Catholics of the role and support available to them by the ASDC?

Example -How is the information being discussed at the national committee meetings being made available to members?

2. What are the mechanisms available to members to supply input to the ASDC nationally?

3. Is the ASDC website in its current form a suitable communication medium? Can it be improved? How many members use a computer? What are the alternatives for them?

4. What funding does the ASDC receive i.e. member’s contributions? The Church? How is the money spent? Is the money used solely for administrative purposes or are there projects to help members i.e. Travel expenses to a meeting, assisted places to social/support activities such as the Llandudno weekend and summer holiday week?

I am sure that there are many other topics that members would like added to the above list .The question is other than writing to the New Vision which I am now doing how can they input their ideas?