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Aims
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To provide spiritual and practical support through self-help groups. Members are committed to help others, especially those in the early stages of separation or divorce, |
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To inform of the Church’s teaching through talks on such topics as separation, divorce, annulment, the indissolubility of marriage, second marriages, the internal forum and sacraments for the remarried, |
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To emphasise that the Catholic, although divorced, is not alone, is not a failure, but is still an equal member of the Church. Through his/her experience, the divorced Catholic can emerge with greater personal strengths, a more profound faith, a deeper compassion and a determination to build a life contributing positively to the life of the Church and society. |
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To converse with the Church, |
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To establish the ASDC as an active organisation within the parish, |
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To permit membership to all separated and divorced Catholics, whatever their circumstances, |
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To help members to come to terms with being on their own, to gain confidence and face the world again. |
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To encourage the Association to grow through the formation of local groups. |
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If you have any comment or suggestion about this web site, or if you have a query about ASDC, please contact me by using the feedback form or by ringing me.
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Phone: 0208 767 5293 |
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E Mail: 30avarn@tfinnegan.org.uk |
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If contacting me by E Mail, remember to give your contact details for reply. |
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1. Questions Divorced Catholics Ask About Their StatusCan a divorced person receive Holy Communion? Yes, a divorced person who is not remarried is in a situation similar to that of a priest or nun: a single person in the Church with full rights and duties except for the right to enter a new marriage.
Is a divorced person ex-communicated from the Church? No. A Catholic is not ex-communicated when he/she is divorced. However, the right to enter a new marriage must be obtained from the Church.
Does that mean the Catholic who has remarried outside the church can receive Holy Communion too?
No. even though a remarried Catholic is not ex-communicated, it does not mean that he/she can receive Holy Communion. They must first obtain the right to enter a new marriage from the Church.
What is marriage? The Catholic Church understands marriage as an enduring and exclusive partnership for the giving and receiving of love and the generation and upbringing of children. .
How then is an annulment possible? Sometimes it can be proved that no true consent was given or that there was an inability to undertake and carry out the obligations of marriage, then the Church may declare a marriage null and void.
What is the purpose of the Tribunal? The Tribunal’s objective is to determine whether a marriage is binding before God.
What steps are involved in the procedure? Start by contacting a priest (preferably one in your parish) or the tribunal in the diocese where you were married.
How long does the process take? It is impossible to predict the length of time because of a number of variable factors. No two cases are the same. Each case will receive a thorough and just investigation and the Tribunal will make every effort to bring the case to a conclusion as soon as possible.
Are witnesses required? Yes. The law of the Church requires you to provide witnesses so that sufficient proof can be obtained to enable the Tribunal to reach an objective decision.
Can anyone be a witness? The essential thing is that they should have knowledge about you, your former spouse and your marriage. What if I don’t want my former spouse involved? In this case the Tribunal cannot very well process the case, as it would be an infringement of natural justice. Every effort must be made to contact your former spouse and the Tribunal is obliged to insist on this.
Is an annulment always granted? No, but many of those whose petitions the Tribunal agrees to consider do obtain annulments.
Are there any civil effects to a Church annulment? No.
Is remarriage in the Catholic Church allowed? Yes, if an annulment is granted and there are no restrictions attached to it. Is there a cost for the Tribunal services? Yes but one’s ability or inability to contribute in no way affects the progress or the outcome of a request. Click here for more complete treatment of this question.
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Reading lists rapidly go out of date and I welcome any suggestions for additions to the list or comments on the ones mentioned below.
National Board of Catholic Women. A Guide to the Annulment Process. Still advertised on the NBCW website at only £2.50 + 50p post & packing from The Development Officer, NBCW, 12 Worsall Road, Yarm, Cleveland. Tel: 01642 791840. Described by the Canon Law Society as “Worth its weight in gold”.
This is an excellent book which simply explains the annulment process. It also lists all the tribunals in England, Wales, Scotland and Ireland. On its flyer Sr Isabel MacPherson, S.N.D.,J.C.D., PhD says “I hope all Parishes will buy a copy as it expresses in simple language what people need to know”.
Brown, Ralph. MARRIAGE ANNULMENT IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH
Brunsman, Barry. NEW HOPE FOR DIVORCED CATHOLICS
| Buckley, Fr Tim CSsR WHAT BINDS MARRIAGE?: The product of research at the request of the Marriage and Family Life Committee of the Bishops of England and Wales. ISBN 0-225-66845-9. Published by Geoffrey Chapman. £12.99. | |
| Campbell Alastair V. . REDISCOVERING PASTORAL CARE Darton Longman & Todd ISBN 0 232 51695. NB This book is not about separation and divorce but gives an excellent account of many of the pastoral principles that are so important in dealing with people generally, including in the divorced and separation situation. |
Catoir, John. CATHOLICS AND BROKEN MARRIAGE
| Chierruzzi, Anne COPING WITH MARITAL BREAKDOWN: A CTS booklet written by the former National Treasurer of the Association of Separated and Divorced Catholics - unfortunately now out of print but most ASDC groups will have at least one copy. |
Clifford, Paula. DIVORCED CHRISTIANS AND THE LOVE OF GOD. Triangle (SPCK), 1987.
| Cornes, Andrew DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE Biblical Principles and Pastoral Practice Hodder & Stouton ISBN 0 340 574348. |
DiGiulio, Robert C. WHEN YOU ARE A SINGLE PARENT
Flood, Dom Edmund.THE DIVORCED CATHOLIC
Gasche, Fr Stephen. MARRIAGE ANNULMENT IN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH [a CTS booklet £1.95] published in 1998
| Häring Bernard, NO WAY OUT - St Paul Publications. 0 854 39317 X |
Irvine, A T FOR GOD’S SAKE GIVE HIM A CHANCE
Joyce, James. MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND ANNULMENT [a CTS pamphlet].
| Kelly Kevin T , DIVORCE AND SECOND MARRIAGE ISBN 0-225-66820-3. Originally published in 1982 but revised and expanded in 1996. |
Laz, Medard. HELPS FOR SEPARATED AND DIVORCED . Ligouri Publications.Laz, Medard. SPIRITUAL HELPS FOR SEPARATED AND DIVORCED Ligouri Publications.Laz, Medard and Yehl, Suzy Perkins.
PARENTING AFTER DIVORCEMumford, Amy Ross
BY DEATH OR DIVORCE…IT HURTS TO LOSE. Accent Books. Parry, Joanna. FROM WITHIN
Powell, John THE CHRISTIAN VISION
Powell, John WHY AM I AFRAID TO TELL YOU WHO I AM
Reeves, Julie FOR BETTER, FOR WORSE
Ripple, Paula. CALLED TO BE FRIENDS
Ripple, Paula. GROWING STRONG AT BROKEN PLACES
Ripple, Paula. THE PAIN AND THE POSSIBILITY
Ripple, Paula. WALKING WITH LONELINESS
Sanford, John HEALING AND WHOLENESS
Twomey, Gerald S. WHEN CATHOLICS MARRY AGAIN. Winston Press.
| Riley Sr. Carole CDP PhD. SPIRITUALITY AND DIVORCE - an excellent set of tapes, I got my copy from the St Pauls bookshop at Westminster Cathedral for £12.99. |
| Robbins Paul WHAT GOD HAS NOT UNITED ISBN 1-85863-940-9 - the best description of the annulment procedure I have seen; unfortunately now out of print but there should be copies in bigger libraries. In August 2003 the author had some copies of the last print at about £9 a copy. If you need a copy I can put you in touch with him. I also have a copy which I am happy to loan to people who can benefit from it. | |
| Robinson Bishop Geoffrey, MARRIAGE, DIVORCE AND NULLITY - Published by Geoffrey Chapman. ISBN 0 225 664429. |
Wells, Rosemary. HELPING CHILDREN COPE WITH DIVORCE. Sheldon Press, 1993. Whitaker, Rosemary ALL IN THE END IS HARVEST
| Smoke, Jim GROWING THROUGH DIVORCE by ISBN 0-89081-151-2. I’m not sure if this is publicly available but I got hold of a copy through a friend who attended a divorce recovery workshop and am very impressed. |
Young, Fr J J DIVORCING BELIEVING BELONGING Paulist Press. 0809 124346.Young, James J. WHEN YOU’RE DIVORCED AND CATHOLICZwack, Joseph P. ANNULMENT - YOUR CHANCE TO REMARRY WITHIN THE CATHOLIC CHURCH . Harper & Row.
| WHEN THE VOW BREAKS - A survival and recovery guide for Christians facing divorce. ISBN 0 805 46084 |
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Forthcoming events arranged by ASDC Groups, or which may be of interest to ASDC members
2009
There will be a weekend for those who find themselves alone again through bereavement, divorce or separation. This will take place from March 27th to 29th 2009 at the Emmaus Centre, West Wickham. For details telephone
Mary on 01296 487 634
Moving Forward
The Moving Forward programme is a personal development course designed for people who have divorced or separated from their partner. Relate
Relate
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If your event isn’t shown and you would like it to be please e mail me at 30avarn@tfinnegan.org.uk
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REGULAR EVENTS
ASDC Group Meetings
For details of the Lancashire group visit http://hometown.aol.co.uk/mellyf98/myhomepage/newsletter.html
Sadly we have to announce that the Home Counties (formerly Palmers Green Group which used to meet at St Monica’s Church Hall (up the stairs) in Stonard Road, London N13 is no longer in existence. Support in London area is now available at the Harrow, Tooting and Westminster groups - details below,
On the FIRST MONDAY of every month (second Mondays instead if the first Monday is a Bank Holiday) Harrow ASDC at 8 pm at St Bernard’s, Northolt. Click here to see the Harrow ASDC Newsletter
On the 3rd Friday of every month at 6 30 the Westminster Cathedral Group meet in “the Hinsley Room”, Morpeth Terrace. Access via a small gate at the end of the school playground.
Please note change of date to third Friday of each month. Ring Frank on 020 8422 1591 to confirm the next meeting.
On the THIRD TUESDAY of every month the Tooting Group meets in the Function Room at the back of St Boniface Social Club, 185 Mitcham Road (600 yards from Tooting Broadway Underground Station and just by the Amen Corner Bus Stop for Nos. 44, 57,127, 133,270, 280 etc. Ring me (Tony) on 020 8767 5293. We usually arrange at least one social gathering between meetings but do not think far enough ahead to get them in the published list of events
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National Enquiry phone no. 0113 264 0638.
The following is a list of places where ASDC has either an active group or a contact who can give information about the Association. As contacts change frequently, names and addresses are not given here but if you live near any of the places shown E Mail me and I shall let you know who the current contact is.
BURNLEY Lancs
LEIGH Lancs
DARTFORD not actually in Dartford now but Medway may be convenient for people in that area.
HARROW Affiliated. Archdiocese of Westminster. See Harrow’s own website
ISLE OF SHEPPEY not actually in Isle of Sheppey now but Medway may be convenient for people in that area.
LANCASTER & MORECAMBE Affiliated. Diocese of Lancaster.
LIVERPOOL Contact the Archdiocese of Liverpool, Department of Pastoral Formation, 152 Brownlow Hill, Liverpol L3 5RQ Tel: 0151 708 8659 or at L.A.C.E. Croxteth Drive, Sefton Park, Liverpool L17 1AA. 0151 522 1040. Two Rainbow groups are still meeting, one of them at Blessed Sacrament Church, Walton Vale, Aintree, Liverpool. Also On Being Alone Again: a short series of meetings to support and encourage people who have ended marriages or long term relationships.
MIDDLETON Small group meeting. supported by Stockport Group.
Nottingham Contact Jimmie 0115 944 4003
PETERBOROUGH Group based at All Souls, Geneva Street, Peterborough.
RAINHAM not actually in Rainham now but Medway may be convenient for people in that area.
STOCKPORT Affiliated. Diocese of Shrewsbury.
STRATFORD-UPON-AVON Affiliated.
TOOTING, SOUTH WEST London Affiliated. Archdiocese of Southwark. Meets 8 30 PM on the third Tuesday of the month in the Function Room of St Boniface Parish Social Club, 185 Mitcham Road, Tooting (access through the bar at the front of the club).
TUNBRIDGE WELLS not affiliated. Diocese of Southwark.
WESTMINSTER CATHEDRAL Affiliated. Diocese of Westminster.
3rd Fridays at 6.30pm, The Hinsley Hall (formerly called Nursery Hall), off Morpeth Terrace. Access via a small gate at the end of the school playground.
WOLVERHAMPTON Affiliated. Archdiocese of Birmingham.
SOME CONTACTS ABROAD (not part of ASDC but fulfilling a similar function)
IRELAND
THERE ARE B.E. GROUPS in Dublin, Belfast, Downpatrick, Derry, Dundalk, Cork and West of Ireland. Write to Beginning Experience, 14 Hillcrest Road, Purley, Surrey CR8 2JE or ring Pat on 020 8660 3112 for details.
BE at Tullamore, Co Offaly; Ballinasloe, Co Galway & in Roscommon include a lot of widows.
BELFAST Fr Paul Alexander, Corpus Christi Presbytery, Westrock Drive, Belfast BT12 7QD. Met ASDC in Lourdes 8/91. He spoke on the’phone sympathetically to someone I gave his address to later in 1991.
NEWRY/DUNDALK Pauline McMahon, 21 Chancellor’s Road, Corringshego, Newry, Co Down. BT35 8PR. Hopes to start at support group.
Contact: Pauline 028 302 56463 12/00
ISLE OF MAN There are B E groups there. Refer enquiries to BE in England as above.
ITALY Centro Assistenza Separati Divorziati, via Bellezza, 3 - Verona. Tel/fax 045/58034 weekdays 9 to11.30am. Answerphone at other times. www. rcvr.org/assoc/asdi/main.htm 9/01
MALTA Mrs Connie M Mallia looks after a group of separated & widowed persons which meets weekly at the Bishops Curia under the name “Core Ro-se”, part of “Caritas Malta”. She is based in Sliema. (private address 153 Manwell Dimech Str, Sliema SLM 03) 8/01
ASDC IN SCOTLAND: c/o St Gabriel’s, 83 Merrylea Road, Glasgow G43 2QY. Tel: 0141 637 4138.
GLASGOW Annette Grey 0141 637 7400. “Drop In” at the Ogilvie Centre, St Aloysius, Rose Street, Glasgow on the first Saturday of the month from 2 to 4pm. Also groups in West Scotland and East Scotland.
SPAIN Acrisdi - Christian Association of Separated and Divorced People. Founded 1991, recognised by Bishops’ Conference. Based in Barcelona, regular meetings. Telephone Dora: 217 41 01 or Manuela: Office 429 06 26, Home 429 23 03. (From England precede with 34 93).The Association also offers legal advice, psychological counselling, arranges outings, cinema visits, meals out. 10/99
TANZANIA G.A. Sibanda, PO Box 475, Sumbawanga, Rukwa, Tanzania. Group of 10 people, established 1999. 10/99
UNITED STATES & CANADA North American Conference of Separated and Divorced Catholics (NACSDC) 3 Park Street, Massachusetts 012108.
Lee Barden. E-mail lee@divorceinfo.com NASDC Central Office: PO Box 360, Richland, OR 97870.’Phone 541 89
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The ASDC is an association of local lay self support groups; stemming from an inaugural meeting called in Manchester in 1981 in response to an increasing pressure for a more compassionate understanding of separated and divorced catholics. The association, warmly supported by the Bishops’ Conference, has adopted a constitution (approved by the hierarchy), which qualifies it for charitable status, and has elected a co-ordinating committee based at the Headquarters in Manchester.
The purpose of our organisation is to provide catholics shattered by the trauma of marriage breakdown with the support and care which is often best provided by fellow believers and sufferers. With the guidance of our group chaplains, and confident in Christ’s promise to those who gather in His name, we believe Christ shares in our mutual ministry of healing. Many lonely and isolated catholics with our common faith in Christ (in particular those trying to raise children on their own) describe joining the ASDC as “finding a new family”. With the help of our new brothers and sisters we learn to admit our anger, resolve our bitterness, start to forgive past injuries and mistakes, our own included, and so to begin to live again. Through shared prayer, discussion, study, retreats, as well as more social outings and entertainments, we grow in the confidence to reassert ourselves in society.We are not a pressure group seeking to change church law; we uphold the sanctity and integrity of marriage as the foundation of human life. We do aim to change attitudes by spreading accurate information on the church’s teaching on separation, divorce, annulment and remarriage both among our members and fellow Christians. We want to integrate our work with other caring agencies to reduce the number of marriages that fail.We publish a newsletter every two months entitled “New Vision” which costs just £6 including postage for six issues. You can get your own copy delivered to your door by post by printing the order form and sending it with your cheque payable to ‘New Vision’ to the address shown on it. The editor would also welcome any views, articles poems etc which you would like to share with other readers.
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